The eating of the cupcakes...

Afterwards they were taken into the bathroom and doused in the sink. LOL

The birthday boy and more...

Here's Wyatt acting all silly....

And here's Luke being all cute...

I have some video I'll post of them eating the b-day cupcakes. LOL

I have no clue

We had Zane's teacher's conference yesterday. Probably the worst one we've ever had.

I doubt he's going to pass 2nd grade.

They can't figure out how to get through to him, how to teach him.

They have the stuff started to test him for Autism, ADHD, and all the others but I doubt it will get done in time to do any good this school year.

I don't know what else to do to help him, we've tried everything, all suggestions. I feel so helpless, I'm his mom, I'm supposed to be able to make it all better. I've failed.

When I'm all alone I just can't stop crying.

I'm heartbroken.

Or just plain broken.

18 months :)

If he wasn't so darn adorable I would be able to settle on just one pic. LOL

*throws confetti*

Wishing you all a safe, healthy, and peaceful 2009!!

The other side of the coin.....

As promised some blog posts ago, here's the good news on Wyatt.....

In the fall when we went to his parents/teachers conference we got good reviews. He was adjusting nicely and they were all happy with him.

At the Halloween party we were informed that he has an entourage of girls. I guess they follow him all over, do stuff for him, hold his hand. LOL I'm guessing he's so popular with the girls cause he rarely talks.

His report card came and it was all great things. He's improving even faster than they thought he would. Not a negative thing on it!!

A couple days later his special ed teacher calls to tell me how great he's doing!! He's even learning things faster than the "normal" kids in his class are!! Woot! He learned the sounds of all the letters before anyone in his class did. He can write/spell his first and last name, clearly even. He knows were everything in the school is. He has his schedule memorized. And lets them know what it is. LOL And he's pretty much one of the more popular kids in the class, with the boys too not just the girls. And he can spell a lot of his classmates names and the word snow.

It's just so amazing the difference in him. I'm now not quite so terrified of his future for him. I can actually see him being capable of holding down a job and living on his own. :)

Christmas Day

And these were taken at my Aunt Ann's house...

Luke with his cow, the new love of his life.

Wyatt taking a "nap" between lunch and gift opening.

Zane(he's in the grey) playing with my cousin's kids.

We have one more Christmas at our house Saturday and then we're done for the year. Woot!

Christmas Eve

These were taken at my parents' house.....

Zane's happy he finally got his Operation game, he was a little unhappy Grandma didn't have batteries for it though.

Wyatt got lots of books and stuff to write and color with.

Here's Luke trying to figure out his new puppy.

And here he is with his car all figured out. :)

Let there be peace on Earth....

Snowmen snowmen snowmen!!(Bathroom)

And these are just the ones I put out, I still have more in storage. LOL

Snowmen snowmen snowmen!!(Kitchen)

Snowmen snowmen snowmen!!(Living room)

And the weather outside is frightful.....

But I still went out there and took some pics. :)

Baby it's cold outside.

Here's Luke all bundled up to do our shopping yesterday. Yes, no gloves/mittens, he won't keep them on.

And here's an extra pic of him with one of his favorite puppies...


He just sat there for about 5 minutes, holding his puppy.

Yay..Nay...Yay...Nay...

Ever have one of those days were it just fluctuates between really good and really bad?

I've had three in the past couple weeks.

One day it was report cards and ouchies; first Zane came home with his report card-nay, then Wyatt came home with his-yay(I'll do a blog post on how wonderful he's doing later), then Luke fell out of the computer chair and hit his head on the heat register....


The next day had Zane's IEP meeting-nay, but Wyatt's special ed teacher called that evening with all good things to say about him(I'll have all that in the blog post on him)-yay.

Then yesterday....ugh.....We're getting a snow storm-nay, did manage to get groceries and some Christmas gifts bought-yay, brakes went out on the SUV on the way home-nay, Wyatt decided to be 100% potty-trained-yay.

I used to have a pretty even-keeled life, *sighs*, I miss it. :P

Oooh, Christmas tree.......

Is it obvious I have a little one in the house? LOL The stuffed animals under the tree are Luke's favorite buddies. :)

They Say God Doesn't Give You More Than You Can Handle...

But I'm thinking he has me confused with someone else. I do have a pretty common first and last name.

For those of you that don't know, last year around this time I started the process to have Wyatt diagnosed with autism. It was a very painful 6 months process that at times had me bawling my eyes out feeling hopeless and like a failure.

Well, last Wednesday I started the whole process over again, this time with Zane. He's been on an IEP for the past two years, getting help in speech, fine motor, and gross motor. In K they just thought he was behind. In 1st we were told by his teacher that his work ethic was bad and he wasn't apply himself. So being the "good" parents we are we punished him(no PS2 and other things he wanted). So walking into his first parent/teachers conference this fall I was expecting much of the same. But the first words out of Mr. S's mouth was "What's his diagnosis?". And the bottom of my world fell out again. Of course, since I've been through this before I should be able to get through it faster this time. But of course this time I'm dealing with huge amounts of guilt for punishing him last year for things he couldn't help and even greater feelings of being a failure as a parent cause I should of seen the signs after the the stuff we went through with Wyatt.

I failed to see what was right in front of me, I took someone else thoughts on my child before my own gut. I didn't protect him when I should of, I didn't have his back, he suffered because of my lack of faith in him and I'll carry that with me for the rest of my life.

Where I Live...

WELCOME TO HOLLAND

by Emily Perl Kingsley.

c1987 by Emily Perl Kingsley. All rights reserved

I am often asked to describe the experience of raising a child with a disability - to try to help people who have not shared that unique experience to understand it, to imagine how it would feel. It's like this......

When you're going to have a baby, it's like planning a fabulous vacation trip - to Italy. You buy a bunch of guide books and make your wonderful plans. The Coliseum. The Michelangelo David. The gondolas in Venice. You may learn some handy phrases in Italian. It's all very exciting.

After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your bags and off you go. Several hours later, the plane lands. The stewardess comes in and says, "Welcome to Holland."

"Holland?!?" you say. "What do you mean Holland?? I signed up for Italy! I'm supposed to be in Italy. All my life I've dreamed of going to Italy."

But there's been a change in the flight plan. They've landed in Holland and there you must stay.

The important thing is that they haven't taken you to a horrible, disgusting, filthy place, full of pestilence, famine and disease. It's just a different place.

So you must go out and buy new guide books. And you must learn a whole new language. And you will meet a whole new group of people you would never have met.

It's just a different place. It's slower-paced than Italy, less flashy than Italy. But after you've been there for a while and you catch your breath, you look around.... and you begin to notice that Holland has windmills....and Holland has tulips. Holland even has Rembrandts.

But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy... and they're all bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And for the rest of your life, you will say "Yes, that's where I was supposed to go. That's what I had planned."

And the pain of that will never, ever, ever, ever go away... because the loss of that dream is a very very significant loss.

But... if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn't get to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things ... about Holland.

Celebrating Holland- I'm Home
By Cathy Anthony

(my follow-up to the original \Welcome to Holland\ by Emily Perl Kingsley)

I have been in Holland for over a decade now. It has become home. I have had time to catch my breath, to settle and adjust, to accept something different than I'd planned.I reflect back on those years of past when I had first landed in Holland. I remember clearly my shock, my fear, my anger, the pain and uncertainty. Inthose first few years, I tried to get back to Italy as planned, but Holland was where I was to stay. Today, I can say how far I have come on this unexpected journey. I have learned so much more. But, this too has been a journey of time.

I worked hard. I bought new guidebooks. I learned a new language and I slowly found my way around this new land. I have met others whose plans had changed like mine, and who could share my experience. We supported one another and some have become very special friends.

Some of these fellow travelers had been in Holland longer than I and were seasoned guides, assisting me along the way. Many have encouraged me. Many have taught me to open my eyes to the wonder and gifts to behold in this new land. I have discovered a community of caring. Holland wasn't so bad.

I think that Holland is used to wayward travelers like me and grew to become a land of hospitality, reaching out to welcome, to assist and to support newcomers like me in this new land. Over the years, I've wondered what life would have been like if I'd landed in Italy as planned. Would life have been easier? Would it have been as rewarding? Would I have learned some of the important lessons I hold today?

Sure, this journey has been more challenging and at times I would (and still do) stomp my feet and cry out in frustration and protest. And, yes, Holland is slower paced than Italy and less flashy than Italy, but this too has been an unexpected gift. I have learned to slow down in ways too and look closer at things, with a new appreciation for the remarkable beauty of Holland with its tulips, windmills and Rembrandts.

I have come to love Holland and call it Home.

I have become a world traveler and discovered that it doesn't matter where you land. What's more important is what you make of your journey and how you see and enjoy the very special, the very lovely, things that Holland, or any land, has to offer.

Yes, over a decade ago I landed in a place I hadn't planned. Yet I am thankful, for this destination has been richer than I could have imagined!

School Pics

Wyatt(5):

Zane(8):

My Irish laddies